A reader recently expressed concern over my possible woundedness after reading my post about family.
I admire her openness. It takes time and courage to express true feelings about any post.
However, the subject of ‘family’ typically brings out numerous responses. While we listen to family issues or read about them, our minds conjure personal filters, misconceptions and possibly projections of our own making.
The reason I appreciate her taking the time to express her feelings? It causes me to do the very exercise I hope readers are wont to do when reading some of my posts. She made me look in the mirror. She helped me say, “I’m going to stop and get honest. Do I feel wounded?”
I took time to imagine my life shifting to one where family was constantly in touch. I imagined living under unspoken rules, personal expectations and inevitable responsibilities. I haven’t lived that kind of life – probably because I’m not a mother in this incarnation.
I have wondered, however, if being a manager in several different roles gave me parallel lessons in life.
As one intuitive said to me – unsolicited and welcome – “you’ve wondered about your lack of desire to have children. Forget it! You’ve had lifetimes full of children. You’ve slaved over numerous large families – gardening, sewing, cooking, canning, cleaning, crying, comforting – you’ve had it all. In this lifetime, it’s okay to look at your hands and say, ‘These hands, this time, will simply hold charge cards.’ ”
The irony is, I’m not even a good consumer in this lifetime. I’ve only owned one credit card. And every time the credit card company raises my credit limit, I phone them and lower it. If the card is stolen, the thief is not going to have a better time than me on my excellent rating!
At the risk of sounding boring – I go for the soul. The rich inner life of each one of us keeps me more occupied than I can express.
For example, following some incredible courses that inspired my professional facilitator skills to become active again, I wrote a program – Operation Blind Spot. As planned, it’s transformative.
It changes people’s lives. Uniquely.
I know! People all over the Internet claim this about their courses. Some even write thousands of words to convince people, but guess what…
This one does.
Participants currently on the program are floored by the insights they find for themselves. One person, half way through the steps, sent her weekly results today. Her results astonished me. Her comments brought tears to my eyes, “This is a wonderful, fascinating process, Amy… What a great journey! Thank you again for this!”
The reason she’s saying this? She’s found the person she’s always wanted to be.
My Beloveds tell me Operation Blind Spot is going to grow – it’ll be expanding “group by group”, they said. I’m not sure what they mean, but since I already feel such enthusiasm for the process, I trust it to be the truth.
I had to make sure other people had the opportunity to discover incredible things about themselves. The process within Operation Blind Spot gave me such insights into my mindset that it turned my behaviour upside down. I’ve stopped stopping myself. I’ve stopped backing away.
And now others are experiencing the same for themselves.
So, to that dear reader, thanks for encouraging me to pause and consider my woundedness. To whatever degree I carry woundedness, (and we all do) my joy and fulfillment lie in the inner richness of existence. When that includes others, I embrace their presence with attentiveness and joy.
Otherwise, I am content to give quietly – often alone, rarely lonely.