A reader recently expressed concern over my possible woundedness after reading my post about family.
Pausing to Consider.
I admire her openness. It takes time and courage to express true feelings about any post.
However, the subject of ‘family’ typically brings out numerous responses. While we listen to family issues or read about them, our minds conjure personal filters, misconceptions and possibly projections of our own making.
The reason I appreciate her taking the time to express her feelings? It causes me to do the very exercise I hope readers are wont to do when reading some of my posts. She made me look in the mirror. She helped me say, “I’m going to stop and get honest. Do I feel wounded?”
I took time to imagine my life shifting to one where family was constantly in touch. I imagined living under unspoken rules, personal expectations and inevitable responsibilities. I haven’t lived that kind of life – probably because I’m not a mother in this incarnation.
I have wondered, however, if being a manager in several different roles gave me parallel lessons in life.
As one intuitive said to me – unsolicited and welcome – “you’ve wondered about your lack of desire to have children. Forget it! You’ve had lifetimes full of children. You’ve slaved over numerous large families – gardening, sewing, cooking, canning, cleaning, crying, comforting – you’ve had it all. In this lifetime, it’s okay to look at your hands and say, ‘These hands, this time, will simply hold charge cards.’ ”
The irony is, I’m not even a good consumer in this lifetime. I’ve only owned one credit card. And every time the credit card company raises my credit limit, I phone them and lower it. If the card is stolen, the thief is not going to have a better time than me on my excellent rating!
At the risk of sounding boring – I go for the soul. The rich inner life of each one of us keeps me more occupied than I can express.
For example, following some incredible courses that inspired my professional facilitator skills to become active again, I wrote a program – Operation Blind Spot. As planned, it’s transformative.
It changes people’s lives. Uniquely.
I know! People all over the Internet claim this about their courses. Some even write thousands of words to convince people, but guess what…
This one does.
Participants currently on the program are floored by the insights they find for themselves. One person, half way through the steps, sent her weekly results today. Her results astonished me. Her comments brought tears to my eyes, “This is a wonderful, fascinating process, Amy… What a great journey! Thank you again for this!”
The reason she’s saying this? She’s found the person she’s always wanted to be.
My Beloveds tell me Operation Blind Spot is going to grow – it’ll be expanding “group by group”, they said. I’m not sure what they mean, but since I already feel such enthusiasm for the process, I trust it to be the truth.
I had to make sure other people had the opportunity to discover incredible things about themselves. The process within Operation Blind Spot gave me such insights into my mindset that it turned my behaviour upside down. I’ve stopped stopping myself. I’ve stopped backing away.
And now others are experiencing the same for themselves.
So, to that dear reader, thanks for encouraging me to pause and consider my woundedness. To whatever degree I carry woundedness, (and we all do) my joy and fulfillment lie in the inner richness of existence. When that includes others, I embrace their presence with attentiveness and joy.
Otherwise, I am content to give quietly – often alone, rarely lonely.
Soul Dipper 
Another thought provoking post.
🙂 You’re more than welcome, Amy. I was happy to see that my comment resulted in some self examination, and with this post, I’ve examined myself. You see, I am an intuitive and a healer myself….and speaking the truth and living authentically is something that I am known for, both in the Blog world (I’ve been around for a decade) as well as in my real life where I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and manager. I’ve been a professional woman for over 40 years (I’m fast approaching my Second Saturn Return) And that’s just a part of what I do. LOL
We all filter what we see and hear through personal filters, absolutely. That’s why I did feel some….compassion….towards you as in your last post – as with this one – you only stated the more challenging side of familial relationships and, specifically, children, without any of the positives. That caught my attention. (as did the comment about needing money to interact with your nieces and nephews…interestingly, you mention money in this post as well! LOL)
I couldn’t help but wonder, “But what about the good things? The breathtakingly awesome things? Where is the joy? Where is the absolute wonder of creating another life and tending to it, helping to nuture it into a full form human being?” This is where I know for certain that projection isn’t involved for me. While my own children have certainly brought some “inevitable responsibilities” and – on occasion – hardship and tears, all of that is far ourweighed by the love and miracles and closeness, and laughter, and wonder and compansionship that they have brought to me. There is nothing like the sound of a little voice saying, “I love you Mommy” to erase all the cares and immediately place one into the Bliss.
“I imagined living under unspoken rules, personal expectations and inevitable responsibilities. I haven’t lived that kind of life – probably because I’m not a mother in this incarnation.”
How interesting your marriage must have been, and how enlightened you must be, to have lived a married life free of any expectations and responsibilities. 🙂
Additionally, while I am close with my family (we are a smallish clan these days), I have good boundaries and they’re getting better all the time. I learned to say “No!” comfortably way back almost 2 decades ago. So the idea that one is powerless over the demands of their family is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. In fact, learning good boundaries with anyone is an important tool for a well balanced life.
While it’s possible that parenting in another life gave you a vast array of experiences, the fact that you haven’t experienced that in this life – which I see now is by your own choice. Good for you! 🙂 – means that you have missed out on all of the blessedness. All of the sacredness. All of the development of the human spirit, soul and emotional makeup that goes with parenting. Those are the juicy things of parenting…that go hand in hand with the cooking and cleaning (which are for a season only, anyway…)
Oh, and I just couldn’t imagine putting an animal first over the opportunity to see my sibling for an annual visit! Especially if that invitation came from him!
The real work of the soul, our spiritual alchemy, is worked out in the context of relationship as much, if not more, than in solitude, and a good part of that is developed through our family of origin. Truly, it’s far far easier to live a solitary life where there are no distractions or demands on ones time. Geez, all that time and freedom to develop the gifts of the spirit! But it is my belief that t is in relationship that the real growth …the expansion of our abilities to love unconditionally…takes place.
Unconditional love, like patience and kindness and faith, is like a muscle that must be worked out. It must go through strength training.
And the only way that can happen, is in the context of relationships with others.
I can’t remember if you have your comments moderated. If you do, and you chose not to post this, I understand.
Be well.
I have no qualms about posting your comment, Grace. I had an earlier response expressing my feelings about the judgements and assumptions it contains. However, after sleeping on it, I realize I prefer to simply send you love. As the Universe always provides, my Beloved Guides have been emphasizing non-judgement – during a course taken with about 25 other intuitives.
Bravo, what a lovely post…..giving quietly, loving solitude and peacefulness……..it is a rich way to live. I share that journey. LOVE your beautiful banner photo – hasnt the moon been SPECTACULAR lately? She is outdoing herself!
Sherry, that gorgeous moon is reminding me that it’s time for celebrating a higher dimension and our finally seeing our Divine Masterhood. Love your gratitude, Sherry Blue Sky. It’s a delight to share your joy.
Big hug to you Amy, and all the best with Operation Blind Spot . . . love that name! As for us, we’re welcoming the next phase of family life with the arrival of our second grandchild yesterday. Perhaps I’ll discover more of my own blind spots before long 🙂
Strange, Naomi, this is the first time I even considered you as a grandmother. I didn’t realize you already held the honourary distinction. Congratulations to both Dave and you.
Thank you for all you share of yourself, Naomi. Whatever blindspots you may possess, they couldn’t possibly exist in your love and stewardship of your natural world in South Africa. I admire all the work Dave and you do – including the recent project recognizing and celebrating the work done by Guides in your country. Imagine what we’d miss without those people to teach and protect us as we wander into the territory belonging entirely to the creatures.