Fused Glass Influenced by divine Light
Dear Beloveds, since posting some of your messages, your focus consistently shows how to Love more fully, more easily and more unconditionally. You have consistently encouraged with a gentleness that sets a great example. You’ve repeatedly encouraged meditation to connect with the Love of Source.
No matter the location within the Universe, no matter the circumstance at the time, no matter the souls involved, Love is the answer. You questioned yesterday why Planet Earth sits alone amongst apparently uninhabited neighbours. You asked about the purpose of Source creating a planet where souls live the physical experience with such harshness and cruelty toward one another. You want to understand the reason for being univerally isolated – physically and spiritually. We promised an answer would come to you.
Yes, you did promise. If the answer is under my nose, I don’t see it. You asked me to write today….I hope the answer will be given. But I’m confused. When I ask in meditation how to best share your message, your responses bear a theme best described in two words: “Story. Short.”
So, do you want me to write a story today?
Yes, describe the Grandmother’s dilemma. Perhaps your readers will share their wisdom. Please provide a time and space for humans to go within, to their Source, and share their wisdom.
Okay…a grandmother (let’s call her Gillian) loves family visits – whether it’s a couple or all 15 or 20 family members and friends. Her children, well-educated and ensconced in challenging careers, have their own families and live in various North American locations. The age range of the grandchildren assure a variety of interests, chatter and activities as they scatter themselves around the otherwise peaceful lakeside property.
A couple of teenage grandsons have invited their girlfriends to join them on these family visits. Gillian’s attitude, “the more the merrier”, means the young people love their time at “Grandma’s House”.
However, the young grandsons have decided to visit Grandma and Grandpa with girlfriends; without parents. Recently, Gillian put the visiting 15 yr old grandson in the wee cottage at the edge of the property. His 14 yr old girlfriend was given a room in the house. Gillian felt she had done her grandmother’s moral duty. However, evidence turned up in the cottage confirming teen sex was successfully achieved.
The other grandsons have now caught on and are requesting their turn at Grandma’s house – with girlfriend, of course. Not only is Gillian wondering how to deal with teen sex under her nose, but is also concerned because her husband adores his time alone over breakfast with his newspaper. The young girlfriends show up in the kitchen and disrupt his alone time which he dislikes immensely. Grandpa wants to allow them both stay in the cottage.
A few of us have assured her that she cannot control these young folk. They’ll find a way to be together no matter what arrangements are made. We cheered when Gillian told of the telltale evidence. It proved the young man practices safe sex.
Gillian wants to keep her husband happy without appearing to condone teen sex. Yet, she doesn’t want to impose rules that would discourage visits. Though we bombarded Gillian with a variety of suggestions, she had not made a decision before we dispersed.
Let’s see the responses from your readers.
Yes! That is a great idea. Will there also be an answer to my questions about the isolation of Planet Earth?
Do you think there may be a parallel in Gillian’s challenge?
Okay, my Beloved Evasives… My readers are wise. They’ve shown me time and again how to think with the heart. Thank you for your trust – and for not giving up on us.
On the contrary. We rejoice over being called upon. May all of you be blessed with the Love you so desire. Our All-Knowing Source holds your planetary home close, allowing it to receive the constant warmth and benefit of the Divine Love’s breath. Fear is unnecessary. Each of you chose to be exactly where you are. You chose to be a part of the solution. The negative eruptions are necessary for healing wounds and quickening health. Your Love, not fear, is the antidote. The Love of Source is unwavering. You see that in meditation.
Soul Dipper 
No, Gillian cannot control young folk but she can control her way of thinking. To do otherwise is an exercise in frustration.
Some Grandmas have come through life with such a different set of standards, Tots, that they don’t know the appropriate way to think. What would you do?
Hmm…not certain that I have an answer on this one yet…will have to think about it and consult with Aunt Bea. 🙂
Oh Yay! That’s fantastic. I can hardly wait, Charles.
I don’t think a 15 year old and a 14 year old are old enough to stay in the garden cottage alone. If either of them were my kids I’d say “No way!’ I work with a woman who is in her mid 50’s. She had her first kid when she was 15, and by the time she was 19 she’d had 3. This woman still craves her missed childhood. She only reads Young Adult books, is a member of a book club that only read YA books, goes to Disneyworld at least once a month …
It’s hard for me to conceive allowing my 14 yr old daughter to fly off with a boyfriend to stay with his grandparents and not have communicated with the grandparents. Even if the boy’s parents are reassuring and are obviously good world citizens. If for no other reason – out of respect for the grandparents.
In another case, a different friend’s son brought two of his friends home for Christmas – a boy and a girl – university students. Other than meal time, this young couple spent almost all of their time in the bedroom together. My friends pried them out, totally frustrated, using some excuse about a project that needed their help.
Seems that parents and grandparents live in fear of being rejected if they apply boundaries. In the Virtues Project, it was amazing to learn how young people WANT to know the boundaries. Doesn’t mean they won’t push or fight them, but deep down inside, they like knowing where the lines are.
As my eldest grandchiodren are only four years old, this has given me warning of a possible future dilemma, one which had not entered my mind yet!
When my own children began practicing sex, they were both in their teens but over the age of consent. Their father preferred them to bring their partners home, rather than ‘doing it’ behind our backs ~ as we had been forced to do when we got engaged at eighteen. So it might be assumed that I’d have no problem with my grandchildren sleeping with their girl/boyfriends at my house.
But these are not my children, I’m one step removed and I don’t have primary responsibility for their well being ~ or for that of their sexual partners, particularly if they’re under~age. So ~ before agreeing to anything controversial ~ I would open up this topic for discussion involving their parents, so that we can come to a general agreement about what behaviour is acceptable (or not) at Gran’s house. (We already do that, anyway, to ensure a consistent approach.) Grandad and I must be comfortable with the outcome, as it is our home after all and I refuse to keep important secrets like that from my own children. If my mother had done that to me and I’d found out later, I would not have been impressed with her!
So for me this would not be my decision alone ~ it would be made by the family (and reviewed over time and with each grandchild as the matter arose.) I’d rather there were clearly defined boundaries beforehand than to find myself becoming ‘piggy~in~the~middle’ and not able to talk freely and honestly with my loved ones. General consensus will hopefully foster mutual respect and ~ although they might resent it sometimes ~ I’m sure the kids will appreciate clearly defined boundaries.
Great theory. Let’s hope it works for me, when the time comes!! 😉
Thank you and your guides for a thought provoking post, Amy ~ it has encouraged me to examine my whole attitude towards family responsibility, starting right now!
Jacqueline, would you consider the position responsible for the moral conduct of world nations? I have hints that our planet is isolated because our relationships with other people, cities, nations are deplorable. We hear “love is the answer”, but think of it as some hippy-dippy phrase. We hide evidence of life outside our planet like it’s something too big for us little people to bear. We cannot imagine other life knowing our plight and wanting so badly to help us. (I know that sounds “out there”, but people can do their homework and watch videos by retired astronauts and people who are tired of being muzzled.) So Love and all it ramifications has to start with us.
Just imagine, Jacqueline, if every family was encouraged and supported to communicate in the manner you outlined. We would then accept nothing less from nations because it would be our root, our core, our default.
Thank you for your wise, seasoned and well-expressed comment.
Love to you!
Amy auntie, in our part of world, even a 25 yr old young man in not allowed to stay with his 24 years old girlfriend alone. So I am not sure about the answer. 🙂
Arindam, I understand! We have so many different rules and regulations in all our different cultures that it’s no wonder we have a struggle to accept, love and engage with one another. That’s why I love the blogosphere. It cuts through class, age, sex, culture, race, language… We could all take a lesson in how unbiased it is. Perhaps that way, we could come to understand each other better. Love has no judgement, I am taught. I believe it’s the same in most spiritual paths. Yet, countries and therefore cultures judge and become very adamant about defending their own belief systems.
Just as this grandmother wonders how to best deal with the situation, keep the doors open for visits, protect her husband’s privacy and not have parents blaming her, I think of our Universal Source and wonder how we justify blaming that Love Energy. We each have a responsibility to love and accept. After a while it’s a joy. A pleasure. Not a job!!
Now I will step down from my soapbox – but not without thanking you for showing how to gently and confidently speak respect for your culture without apology or explanation. And THAT, my friend, is what nations need to respect. We can learn from one another instead of boxing each others ears for being different!
“””Love is the answer.””
True.
Amy, I’ve not been getting your emails. Xx
Yah, Kim – I haven’t been receiving yours either. I’ll try a re-subscribe. But I think it’s the dog’s fault. He’s punishing you for no doggie treats a the airport.
I think the age of these grand-children means I would want to talk to their parents – including the parents of the girl-friends. They may well have assumed that Grannie’s place would have boundaries which the children would have to respect. I think it’s sad that they have embarked on what is a committment as well as a pleasure when they are so young, and will never know the ecstatic thrill of simply holding hands with their beloved !!!
Communication seems to me to be the only way out of this impasse- and I suspect the grand-children would respect honest communication…
And yes, if only we could communicate with each other, and connect with the love that is around us and ‘out there”…
Thank you for this post Amy and the many levels of thought in it…
Indeed, Valerie – I did ask her about talking to both sets of parents. If nothing else, to declare her hand which the parents can either accept or not. Yes…those assumptions. It’s hard to believe that parents today would assume granny’s place would be respected enough to engage in holding hands and swooning during moonlight walks. She’s aware that the grandsons are informing one another because she’s received another call from another one wanting to bring his girlfriend. Until she speaks up, it’ll feel like a hostage taking.
We have a round table–which doesn’t mean there’s no ‘head’, it just means the ‘head’ can be wherever you sit. It’s the person, not the shape of the table.
It’s gran’s house–and gran’s limits and boundaries. She gets to set them, lovingly and with concern for everyone’s well being, including her own. And while they’re NOT my children, I DID raise their parent!
I’d invite everyone to the round table and we’d have a ‘come to gran’ moment to know what expectations the parents had, what expectations the kiddo had and what expectations I had. (grandad wouldn’t be there cuz he’s reactive and might have a heart attack when I put the condom on the table for discussion purposes)
THIS….is a condom. We all know what Nana uses those for–balloons! Wanna see me make a puppy from one? ….k… Smart young folks use them for….other more practical purposes! I will give lessons on HOW to use them if that’s needed. ( though I taught the parent already, so I’m hopeful they’ve taught the kiddo.) Love ya–want you to visit, want what’s best for you…. LOVE that you’re here!! But I gotta tell ya what this place is not….not a hotel, not a brothel…LOL Condoms are awesome, but grandad’s gonna have a heart attack if he stumbles on to something he can’t quite wrap his head around. Not even feeling a need to share where I’ll go–spare yourself the embarrassment……. And mom and dad have WHAT expectation of the kiddo? Here’s what I want for you and from you…here’s what mom and dad are saying to you…..this is what you’ve offered. Your word is good. Right–ready set….go. You are welcome..you are loved…..you are a responsible young person. I adore you. And I want you to be ALL that you are, every day, every place, every time. And a gentle reminder–do NOT ruffle grandad when he’s catching up on the world’s news–or try to approach Nana before that second pot of coffee is done. BE THE SMART PERSON you are.
That’s about how it’d go (minus some details)! LOL
*laughing* I doubt I’d be at the table long–I’m all about putting the cards on the table, giving the responsibility to the person and walking away, letting them deal with the outcomes of their choices. I figure people are only AS responsible as you allow them to be. And really, most kiddos WANT to know the limits and expectations–and feel safer and more empowered when they DO know them.
Yes…I’m a very……..’let’s just DO it’ kinda gal. No point in being anxious when I’m not the one who NEEDS to be anxious if there’s ‘plans’ in the works!!
Oh, but Bless their pea picking hearts for USING the condom–that shows some ability to THINK in a heated moment!
Just sayin’….LOLOL
Straight from the mouth of a very wise, intelligent grandma who has obviously learned that conflict “ain’t” the stuff to carry around! Nor the responsibility of others. I like the round table approach a lot, Mel. It’s a significant, teachable moment for the teens. It puts the whole issue right on the table where the rules (granny’s and parents’) are read and there’s room for “yah buts” & question and answer. (Who invented rectangular tables anyway!!? 🙂 ) Love it. And I love you, Mel.
Ah, such a difficult situation for grandma’s. I think it comes down to being able to live with your choices. I also think the young ones need to respect their grand parents choices even if they do not agree with them, they will be grand parents themselves one day and may face the same decisions.
If only hormones allowed for consequences, Dee. The approach Mel suggested would have had a huge impact on me – because I liked being respected by adults.
In fact, this conjures a time when I was “the girl”. I became engaged at 17. (Ugh!) I had graduated from school and had landed a job to “earn money for university.” The young man had given me a diamond ring and I was so in love with being engaged, I didn’t wrap my head around actually being a wife. I didn’t mention this to my Mom and Dad – they now lived in another city – and thank goodness because the engagement was very short-lived.
You see, he and I boarded a bus and traveled overnight to visit his northern home where I could meet his family. When we arrived and after meeting his mother (Dad was at work) I was escorted to a small trailer in the back yard. I was confused and hurt since he was in the house with his Mom and I had had visions of being welcomed lovingly! When my “beloved” arrived with dinner on the plate and we ate in the trailer, I was furious. I told him I was catching the next bus out. At least he was man enough to come with me.
When we arrived home, I gave him back his ring. He was a good young man (21 yrs old) who was already off to a good start in life. However, I didn’t want a mother-in-law who could treat a son’s sweetheart with such silent disdain and disrespect. She certainly got my attention – which I can thank her for today. I had too much living to do to marry young!
When I look back, she was likely shocked. We just suddenly appeared and she was caught off-guard. But I felt her disrespect too deeply to want to consider joining that family.
Oh my, I wouldn’t know what to do in this situation. Your readers have given anwers worthy of lots of thought. Love you Amy xxx
I was left behind when I realized that boys and girls are now allowed to entertain friends of either sex in their rooms. We also had boys as “just good friends”, but we did not invite them into our bedrooms. Hormones have such dictating power!
So, Cin, this is not simple for a grandmother wanting her grandsons to feel free to visit. (She’s such a neat grandma, too!)
She was thrilled that people took the time to respond with their suggestions. She’s reading the responses now that her IPad is fixed. Her decision will be interesting.
Five words: Not on my watch, Buster 😀 But the bright light of openness could be of some benefit to Gillian. Hugging dilemmas to oneself when the response should also involve parents worries me a little. Better to share openly, surely? I believe we are not put on this earth to garner the good opinion of our offstpring, but to provide enough boundaries to guide them through the maelstrom of early adulthood to a place where they are free and independent enough to carve a fulfilling future. There are few things which can torpedo a future so completely as those early relationships we carve out.
Kate, you eloquent mom and teacher. Many thanks for your wisdom.
🙂
I think Gillian has quite a few choices from what I’ve read in the comment boxes. I think I’ll pass on helping Gillian with this one. I have grandkids in their 20’s but don’ think my advise would help. Nice post, though … thought provoking, for sure.
Unless it’s your choice, Isadora, don’t shy away from sharing your experiences. It all helps.
If the only reason I was visited by my Grandchildren was for the use of my cottage for teenagers to have a place to explore sex with their girlfriends/boyfriends then the visits need not exist. If the morning paper, in silence, is so important as to come before communing with loved ones, then I don’t deserve to be visited. Loving is a two-way street.
Your comment fits right in with the theme running through my life lately – i.e. boundaries. We need to know what ours are and we all need to know how to express them lovingly. The most profound reminder about boundaries is that it helps loved ones immensely – yet people shy away thinking they’ll hurt feelings. People pleasing galore! 😀 The subject is hot and heavy amongst my women friends right now for some reason!
You understood exactly what I meant. Thankyou. I have no doubt that Gillian loves her family and that her husband does too. Sometimes, in our loving, we forget about communication, setting examples, and educating the young, figuring it is their parents’ job. However? If the Grandchildren are in my care, minus their parents, what you say, above, comes into play. It becomes Grandma and Grandpa’s turn to set those boundaries.