Do you have a quirk that no one else seems to share?
I have at least two.
My quirks came to mind while reading about a challenge that seems to be going around the blogosphere. My friend Mel, at Melsdream who describes herself as “quirky” received a big #7 in a box which caused her to share 7 personal things . Her humourous responses made me appreciate her even more. Any woman who makes a point of wearing mismatched socks everyday and asks her husband to cover up a frozen frog in case it’s only hibernating has my vote for heartwarming enlightenment.
Quirkiness and eccentricity are as necessary as accessories for the little black dress or that conservative navy blue suit. They plant personality in a garden of conformity. I’m not talking about habits that are nasty for, or insensitive toward, the people around us. I’m talking about the authentic differences that run deep in our souls. These are quirks that rise, at times, as though we’ve just stepped on a thistle with a bare foot.
One “quirk” rears its weedy head when someone asks me, “Will you do me a favour?”
Good grief! What if they want me to push their car into town with my two bare hands? Or maybe they’re going to ask me to do a tandem bungie jump. Out of the goodness of my heart do I just say, “Of course. I’ll do any favour you want!”?
“Will you do me a favour?” puts me on the defensive. I strive to be a person of my word so the question forces me to make two decisions. How do I find out what they want without sounding like I’m going to do it? And second – if they want me to do something I cannot or am not willing to do, how can I decline with honesty and diplomatic immunity?
At times I’ve said, “Just tell me what you need.”
When I do a “favour”, my heart’s lustre feels slightly tarnished. When someone needs help, it’s a bonus to be able to lend a hand.
Phew – I can feel the steam rising just standing here on my soap box.
Here’s the second one: “You should…”
Since my mother banned the word “should”, I grew up seldom hearing the word. Not using “should” meant taking a stand and making a decision rather than fence-sit.
Now, when I hear “should”, it feels like an earworm. I want to ignore it, but it beeps its presence in my psyche.
Thank goodness for the person who invented the response, “Don’t SHOULD on me.”
Even more difficult is hearing, “You should…”
At a young age, I asked mom why she bristled when anyone used “you should”. She said, “Few people know what is best for themselves. Unless they have their own house in order, what right do they have pointing out what anyone else needs to consider?”
My close friends know about these two quirks and, thankfully, continue to hang around. Hmmm…I wonder. Are these just two of the least of my quirks?
Actually, that’s wishful thinking.
I hope I’m in good company – willing to share an interesting quirk?