It’s All Just A Matter of Time

A classic  – Thank you, Brook Benton

Have you had questions you believed would never be answered?

Amazingly, three of mine were answered yesterday!  Three in one day!

The 1st question:  What was the source of Gary’s spirituality?

When I moved to this island, there was a barber named Gary.  Gary and his wife parented incredibly handsome sons.  There is not an actor in Hollywood who could top these tall, fit and handsome men. Besides their physical beauty, they are generous, respectful and caring.  All of them have fathered talented and delightful children.  All

Lost in Time

of them contribute to their communities with enthusiasm.  They’re in the Fire Department, do stunning stonework, work with the disabled, produce phenomenal photography etc., etc.  I wish I could post photos, but their wives probably have enough women panting over their men.

These sons maturely receive and accept our appreciation without falling into the silliness of over-inflated egos.  This simply makes them more attractive!

Years ago, in between haircuts, Gary-the-Patriarch wrote and published spiritual material.  These articles were published in our local paper and held a depth that called a soul to attention.  They provided a unique look at life.  His messages were empowering rather than preachy.

When I have been around Gary and his wife, the time wasn’t appropriate to ask where he learned these concepts.

Yesterday, Gary’s wife and I were on the same bench after Aquafit at the swimming pool.  No one else was around.  I asked about Gary, knowing he has Parkinson’s, and learned he’s in the hospital permanently.  I said, “I remember Gary’s spiritual articles in the paper.  I always wanted to ask the source of his inspiration.  Whatever it was, it fed integrity to your sons and their good works.”

She gave me a smile of soft surrender and told me about their life before coming to our island.  Many years ago, with three sons and one on the way, Gary and she moved south to the States where they spent time in a communal setting.  She laughed explaining that their rambunctious little boys didn’t make them a popular family.  However, they were given the teachings of a movement called the Emissaries of Divine Light.  The concepts infiltrated their lives and, while the movement has dwindled with the death of its founder, she confirmed that the concepts did give them a solid spiritual footing.

From Wikipedia: (Click here for Link)

“Emissaries of Divine Light is a global spiritual network initiated by Lloyd Arthur Meeker in 1932.[1] The foundational premise of the network is that human beings are divine by nature, and that their divinity is experienced as it is expressed in service to the world.[2] …”

She said,  “The movement is much smaller since the founder has died, but it may be just as well.  The messenger is not meant to be the one worshiped.”

Her final comment, like the words once shared by her beloved, was a meal.

The 2nd question:  Was that man truly your husband?

As I stood willing the cash machine into generosity, someone said, “Are you tired after today’s Aquafit class?”  I turned to greet Jess, a woman I’d always liked.  She continued, “Everyone was complaining that they were beat after our session.”

“Phew! I thought it was just me.  I’m going for coffee.  Care to join me?”

Off we went. Jess and I could not remember how or when we met, but it was decades ago.  I remembered her impish sense of humour.  Over the years, our quick exchanges meant laughter.  Now both retired, we finally had

Fading with Time

time to visit.

About 15 years ago, a man, Hunter (not his real name), began to hang around my friend Dale’s home.  Dale, now passed on, was an intelligent, semi-eccentric who loved to live alone.  For mysterious reasons, he was allowing Hunter to share his house.  Eventually Hunter found a small trailer and moved it to Dale’s property.  Dale helped connect water and power to the trailer thus ensuring privacy once again.

I asked Dale why he was willing to share his property.  “Hunter and I have some similar conditions and he kinda looks to me for some understanding once in a while.”  I decided it was a guy thing.

When I would show up at Dale’s house, Hunter would fall silent and leave the house.  I asked Dale about it one day and he said, “He’s just private.”

Private was a polite adjective, I decided, and ignored Hunter’s behaviour.  Hunter didn’t speak to me for years – until I walked the cancer trail with Dale.  Hunter then decided to be reasonable. I suspect he knew he may otherwise be taking over responsibility for helping Dale.

I had heard that Jess and Hunter were once married, but it was hard to imagine them together.  Yesterday, after many years of my silently wondering, she confirmed they had been married, had a son, and ended up divorced.  She described her life during that marriage and validated my decision to not make any attempt to bridge a mysterious gap with Hunter.

Hunter is Hunter.  Amen.

The 3rd question:  What became of Bella (not her real name)?

While I was 9/10, we lived in a tiny one-bedroom teacherage by a one-room country school.  We were desperately crowded.  My mother frequently allowed my over-night stays with Bella and her mother at their farm.  I loved milking cows in the morning, separating cream and churning butter – all by hand.

Bella was three years older than me.  It was a major difference at that age, but largely ignored in rural areas where miles lay between playmates and companionship.

Bella’s mother was an oasis of domesticity.  Ordinarily I went to the teacherage for lunch, but on days of having sandwiches and special desserts packed by Bella’s mom, it was a treat to eat at my desk.  Bella hated packed lunches; I loved them. Bella hated riding the stoneboard to school – pulled by a neighbour boy’s Clydesdale; I loved it.  Bella hated going to Sunday School; I could hardly wait to hear the country church’s congregational confession period.  Bella hated being good; I was usually too scared to be bad.

Pocked with Time

At night, in the attic bedroom at the farmhouse, Bella would think I was asleep, slip out of bed and go to spend time with young men.  I pretended to be asleep, but would lie awake until she came back.  I dreaded thoughts of her mother coming upstairs and being mad at me for not confessing Bella’s absence.

Bella and her mother didn’t talk much about her father or siblings.  Their stay at the farm was seasonal.  When winter became harsh, they’d return to the family in the city.  I never asked my mother if she knew the mystery.

This past Monday, a friend and I were talking about the prevalence of youthful promiscuity today.  I told him about Bella and questioned whether much had actually changed.

On Friday, I received a call from a neighbour.  “…You used to live in that part of Alberta…did you know the family who had a daughter named Bella?”  I nearly fell off my chair.

The neighbour explained that an ex-colleague is doing some genealogy and is Bella’s cousin.  He wants to piece together some gaps in family history and is keen to gather people’s memories of his family.  My neighour asked I would be willing to share any memories.  It would be great to tell the cousin how much I adored his aunt, Bella’s mom.

I now know where Bella resides.  When her cousin calls, I hope to learn what kind of life she has lived.

It’s all just a matter of time.

With patience, the answers come.

But three in one day?!

49 thoughts on “It’s All Just A Matter of Time

  1. It is always good to get answers to some of life’s questions…I want to thank you once again for the wonderful video you sent…another reader of my poetry, Dee said “hanks Souldipper, that was the funniest thing I have seen in a long while.”…have a wonderful week!

  2. Three answers in one day, sounds like you were in the flow to receive information!
    The photos you posted are exquisite; what a beautiful area you live in!

  3. Fascinating and intriguing stories. I met several lovely older people here in NZ who had also been connected with the Divine Light movement, including Sir Edmund Hillary’s ( who climbed Everest) first wife, Louise, and her family…

  4. Wow! I haven’t heard that song by Brook Benton in about 50 years or more….Oh my, I think I just put my age out there…oh well…
    The answer to 3 questions in one day? My, that is a big coincidence.

    • I was a very little girl when I used to sing along with him. Probably one of my older sisters brought the song to my attention and I learned it – I always had to pretend to be grown up. Yeah…50 years it could well be, Carol!

  5. Love the photos and the sharing of catching up with historic questions… to gain answers to past events places a finality on the question… I hope there still remains more questions than answers…. that the mind still has something to mull over….
    Love this post….

    • I have to chuckle, Bulldogsturf, when you say you hope I have more questions. Even having the Internet, I churn a never ending curiosity and awe. That does not lessen with age or experience! These were three weird little question marks that sat in my mind for so many years. And I didn’t even have to be on my deathbed to receive the answers! 🙂

      Your visit means a lot! Thank you.

  6. Isn’t it great when you can fill in the gaps in your head and heart? And when it’s good news, that’s even better. We all live so much of our lives with questions – with memories unfinished – so it’s wonderful when we get the opportunity to see the edges around the memories!

    • Hi Gifted Artist! Yah…getting answers. The funny thing is, now that I have the answers, I didn’t know how or where to put the questions. I would not have guessed any of the three people who delivered the pieces to the puzzle. It’s in the same category of some little gadget you can always be looking for when you have nothing else on your shopping list.

  7. How wonderful, it is almost as though the questions were absorbed and moved slowly through the earth then gathered up and presented the answers to you , but in a very quiet way.. c

    • Good description, Celi. It’s fascinating how “seasoned” the responses are. There are all sorts of little tag ends that have now been tucked in – ones that really didn’t even demand attention. It’s more profound proof of the power of circles and cycles.

      I must see (if you posted) how the wee piglet is today. My friend at Morrisbrook just put her little ram into the freezer and is seasoning his lambskin. She wasn’t 100% sure she could do it, but decided it feels pretty good to have her own raised food in the freezer. Now she’s determined to do the butchering herself next year. Yikes! The land toughens up our resolve very quickly! 😀

  8. I love hearing stories like this. For some people, the answers never come, or they don’t even dare to ask. Maybe this will give them the inspiration to ask and to keep aware. The answers will only come if you are ready to receive them. 🙂

  9. Innit just how the Universe works? You go and go and go….and suddenly, it dumps answers at your feet and you have an “ah….well, that explains that!” moment.
    Personally, I’m rather fond of those moments. They make me smile. Three in one day must have had you laughing out loud!

    I gotta tell ya, the photos are totally amazing. I’m surprised you get anything accomplished when you have all that gorgeous STUFF surrounding you! Oh, wait….that’s me that schluffs off and opts for a wander about instead of taking care of stuff that needs tended to…. LOL

  10. Amy I don’t generally pay much attention to the “way” that you write. There is often such a message of importance upon which I am intent that my interest lies primarily with the message and not it’s delivery. Not to minimize your message today for it is truly wonderful, I observed how beautifully you write. This is a wonderful story (3 stories) and the manner in which you told it made it even more potent. For me. Thanks.

    • You are very kind, Raven…the message really wasn’t heavy in this one. It was just fun to make note of the quirky and delightfully unpredictable Universe doing some unfolding.

    • I agree with “Raven” — you are definitely a “story-teller”!! You pull your audience in from the initial sentence and hold us until the end +++ … thank you for sharing this gift with us!

      • Oh wow, you sweet friend! Thank you. I believe so much in the power of stories that I guess it comes naturally. When someone lectures me, my ears close. But tell me a story and I’m all there! 😀

    • Yes, Becca, didn’t I?! Those dots can sit out there for a long time before a line reaches out to connect! And connection is the word. It applies perfectly to the feelings around the exchanges.

  11. I always enjoy your entries but at the mention of Parkinson’s I always pay more attention. My mother lived with it for 15 years before passing from complications.
    On the subject of answered questions I always find that when I bring some up in my mind the answers come within very few days. But I try not to ask too many so as to not be disappointed when not all are answered. 🙂 How lucky that you got 3 of them answered in one day!!!

    • Yes, that’s one of those diseases that can break hearts as the person becomes more angry and frustrated. These were those questions that aren’t dominant, but every sitting there. That’s why it is was so neat to have three of them answered within hours of one another.

      So glad you like the photo, Lidia.

      I wonder why I don’t see notices of your new posts. Good grief, I’m missing out on your wanderings! So glad you commented!

    • Thanks, Linda. The photos were all from a small island in our harbour owned by a family. The tide was low so I was able to walk its circumference and see lots that is normally underwater. The house is fantastic – not large, just full of interesting nooks and crannies since it is basically open. And window beds! Yes!

  12. What a beautiful post, you have a special way with words, that make your blog a joy to read and experience. Isn’t that what we are all called to do, “Love our neighbor as ourselves” We can do what we can, where we can, and how we can, each in his own way. Time does take care of a lot of things, sometimes not in the way we would like. Loved the song, I always enjoy the oldies. Loved the pics, miss you and your island

    • Thank you, Dee – Some of the best photos come from lying on the tummy, shooting while sitting on one side of the hip, hanging precariously from rock faces and dangling from trees. Seems I have to stay fit if I am going to share aspects of my life on this blog! 😀

  13. It seems like you had a great day. Three answers in one day, it seems like a miracle Amy Aunty. Since past few years I’ve been seeking answers to few important questions. But unfortunately, that day never comes. But as you say, “It all just a matter of time”. So I am patiently waiting for that. 🙂
    And just wanted to let you know, I liked today’s message in your Facebook page a lot. These days I am feeling uncomfortable about many things. So I needed those inspiring words from you today.

    • I’m really glad it spoke to you, Arindam. It’s not fun having that gnaw in the core, but it certainly keeps up from getting complacent or too intelligent for our own good! 😀 Yes, you will find love…

  14. Some days are like that; questions get answered. Other days you go around wondering if anything will ever make sense. It’s still quite remarkable to get three answered the same day about people that are long time out of touch. A great read.

    • So astute, as usual, Jamie. Yes, to meet and greet the intricacies of a history shared by each of these relative strangers was awe inspiring. One after the other and all unrelated!

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