Is Your Transformation Pinching or Does It Fit?

Could you give me a hand as I crawl out of this tunnel?  You might be behind me.  If so, just give a shove – then I’ll pull you through.

In January, predictions landed like snowflakes.  We were in for a period of heavy events involving health and relationships.  Like a light wintry snowfall, I ignored the gloom and doom messages.

However, after hearing the fifth person describe major life issues, with a couple being life threatening, I wondered if I could accurately recall those messages.  The warning I remembered most was forecasting weird behaviour coming off the walls when least expected.

Thankfully, in February, after studying a spiritual path, I was deemed prepared to receive a new meditation technique and practice.  Unsure of this new discipline, I gingerly embraced earlier mornings and devoted time to my spiritual condition and well-being.  I dedicated one hour a day to “nothingness”.  With nothingness, I hoped to connect to an inner Source of Love, Joy and Peace.

A protest rose from my depths one early morning.  Did I really want to get up early and meditate for an hour every day?  I remembered a therapist who once directed an over-taxed businessman to sit quietly and do nothing for one hour in the coming week.  At the next session, the man very proudly described how he listened to Beethoven’s Fifth during the hour.  “I really listened!” he said.  “I heard it like I’ve never heard it before.”

“That’s not what you were to do.  You are to sit in silence and do nothing.  Practice again this coming week.”  Off the man went.

Next session, he was a bit more humble.  “You know, I actually came up with a solution to a situation that has been a concern for over a year!”

“You haven’t got it yet.  Total silence – do nothing.  Just be with you.”

He came back after the third attempt, downcast, and said, “I don’t know if I can sit still and just be with myself for a whole hour.”

“Yet  you want to subject the very same person – who you don’t want to be with – on other people for the remaining 23 hours?”

I needed that reminder to prepare for the coming news:

Roses for people wrapped in golden blankets.

My oldest sister, a diabetic diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, rages against anyone trying to help her, including family.   Her adult children had to place her in a care facility where safety is more assured.  What can be more heartbreaking than having to deal with a mother’s wrath?

My other older sister just completed a two week stay in the hospital.  Her son and daughter quietly help their single mom through times of emotional upheaval.

Two blogger friends deal with their own health issues while they each care for loved ones with cancer.

Other bloggers have expressed or hinted at challenges they are facing – separation, divorce, major surgery, severe disappointment and their own mortality.

Soul Dipper turned into a warehouse of golden blankets sent out to wrap people in healing light.

My meditation sessions begin with a prayer that each person receive one of these blankets, including the care-giving loved ones who feel helpless, ill-equipped and marginally effective.  Hopefully they have come to believe that their presence assures healing.  We underestimate the power of Love – even when it occasionally feels absent.

Why did I end up in the tunnel?  Health issues.  Bumps, lumps, breathlessness, pain and swelling means facing various tests.  Hopefully the sages are correct…that this weirdness is simply the trip through dimensional changes.

Also, my heart broke over not being told about the death of a mutual friend’s mother.  Besides my sorrow over my friend’s loss, my ego decried the possible loss of being “part of” a circle of long-time friends.  Cell phones mean cheap, easy and fast texting and, I’m learning, not having a smart phone apparently means no communication.  I intuited that event coming, but it still bit deeply!

The sages claim these opportunities help us decide whether we continue living with attitudes from third dimensional energies or if we have the moxy to stretch out and embrace the fifth.  The higher energy apparently surrounds our planet now and will continue to bombard us – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  It’s up to us to grab hold and hang on while this energy jacks up the notches.

Thankfully, during meditation, my chaotic mind transforms into one of compassion and empathy.  I’m not sure if I can “claim the fifth”, but somehow, I’ve been loved into responding to these and other bombardments in a manner that comforts my conscience.

It looks safe to come out of the tunnel.  I see the road is packed with people.  Oh yah…we’re all one!  I keep forgetting…

The promise of "NEW"

59 thoughts on “Is Your Transformation Pinching or Does It Fit?

  1. Your post made me think of THE VISION OF SIR LAUNFAL by James R. Lowell where one finds the lines:

    For the gift without the giver is bare;
    Who bestows himself with his alms feeds three,–
    Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me.”

    A wonderful post to consider as the year continues…peace be with you.

    • And look at the opening of that verse, Charles!

      His words were shed softer than leaves from the pine,
      And they fell on Sir Launfal as snows on the brine,
      Which mingle their softness and quiet in one
      With the shaggy unrest they float down upon;
      And the voice that was calmer than silence said,
      “Lo, it is I, be not afraid!

      I’m going to have “The voice that is calmer than silence.” for dessert. Thanks for feeding me!

  2. Your honesty is breath taking. Thank you for taking a leap fo faith and trusting in the compassion and synergy of us fellow readers to just be with your musings.

  3. Hi,
    I’m terribly sorry to hear about your friends Mother, my thoughts are with you.
    I can certainly understand you being upset by not being told, it is just as easy to send an e-mail I feel. I also do not have a smart phone.

    It’s sad to hear so many people are having so many issues with health etc; I do wish everyone the best. Sometimes the tunnel can be very dark, but there are people that can help to see the end of that tunnel, and I believe your words do just that.

    • It’s sure been a pile-up, Mags. We need some good humour! My sister who was in the Hospital phoned me and we share a sense of humour I don’t share with any other. We were in stitches…chocking and coughing our way through the conversation. And this was while she was telling me what the Dr’s were finding! Isn’t that supposed to be serious and daunting? Not for us! Oh, we are fully aware of the seriousness of the issues, but we don’t care about remaining adult in the telling!

  4. I’m sorry for all you’re going through physically and emotionally. I’m glad your meditation is comforting and your guides are leading you. I’ve been in a bit of a funk which is mostly I think because I am exhausted. There’s a situation I need to let go of and extend compassion and my ego keeps telling my heart to remember the past…I’m trying to find the best way to proceed. I know I need to quiet my soul and I haven’t taken the time to do it. Hopefully soon I will – your post has given me encouragement. Thank you

    • Yes, SuziCate, I’ve sensed you are carrying something. It’s not fun when a resentment sits like a lump in our souls. At times, I’ve thought, “If I forgive too easily, they’ll think I condone what they have done!” I have to remember that letting go is for me…not them. I’m the one who needs realignment. Theirs is their business.

      From your writings, I know you will work it out when it’s the right time. By being willing, you’ll be given what you need when you need it. A willing heart seems to attract Divine Ingenuity in spades!

  5. My big changes from January still haven’t settled down. I’m feeling lost in the sea of energy, unwilling (unable?) to continue as I’ve been in the past and not yet understanding how to create and hold healthy energetic boundaries in this uncharted new space. Sleeping a lot. Finding it tough to focus. I’m sure when I look back on this piece of time, it will seem but the span of a single breath.

    • I read (a message from Reverend Angela Peregoff []) about people having symptoms similar to what you describe. She is very much into the tranformational process. However, Sally, I trust you are in touch with your doctor.

      As an aside, my doc discovered my thyroid was under-functioning. When I got on the right meds, my focus blessedly returned. I really appreciated having it back at full steam! That was not fun!

  6. ***It looks safe to come out of the tunnel. I see the road is packed with people. Oh yah…we’re all one! I keep forgetting…***

    You are a beautiful, insightful, magical writer.

    Thank You. x

  7. Changes, changes everywhere – challenges, yes. Lots can be explained by transiting planets – Saturn in Libra for 2 yrs and into Oct this year has been intense for a lot of people I know with regards to relationships. Then there’s another planetary configuration with Virgo (health) – I’m no astrologer, but what I read, fits.

    Meditating for 1/2 hour is a LONG time! A good discipline, if you can do it. I find I meditate for short periods all day long, which puts me into the flow of living where I most need what it gives. That works best for me.

    Nice post, Amy – take good care.

    • The hour disappears…it’s amazing. I thought it would be more difficult than it is. However it means I put a lot of thoughts in a boat that floats them away. Yes, I, too, have a habit of mini meditations during the day…especially handy for dental visits, grocery line-ups, or waiting for friends. Or when a little black cat lets me know it’s his turn to have my time.

  8. As always, your words lift me up! There have been some interesting things happening at chez Calhoun but I am no longer worried or afraid – thanks in large part to you and your Guides reminding me about many things I already knew, but failed to employ!

    This is the third or fourth time today that Lamentations 3:22-24 has come to mind, and been quoted:

    God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
    God’s merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
    They’re created new every morning.
    How great your faithfulness!
    I’m sticking with God – God is all I will ever need.

    That is from the paraphrase called “The Message.” New every morning – such a wonderful thing to contemplate!

    Thanks again, Amy! I send you love, peace, joy, and as always, I wish you enough. . .

  9. I was watching TV and heard of an athlete (some basketball player?) who went to Thailand (I think it was) to stay at a Buddhist monastery, retreat center for the so-inclined. He was led through meditation, movement and diet. He said the most interesting and important advice he got from the monk was that if he wanted to improve his game (and his life) that he must sit perfectly still for two hours, and do nothing. That gave me a new challenge…if I can’t still my mind, maybe I could just focus on stilling my body. Eventually the mind stills, but either way, who would think such a thing would be so arduous!! I too am a caretaker of a mom with mild-moderate dementia. It is very sad, strange and difficult at times. Keeping connected to the Source is my saving grace. Thank you for your post, and most especially the ‘golden blanket’. I can feel the loving energy.

    • I’m so glad you have accepted a golden blanket! Yay! I will be wrapping up in one tonight, too. Just feel like some comfort.

      You know, Maggie, I know people who cannot bear being alone or by themselves for a few hours. It’s hard for me to observe them because I know the importance of being able to live with yourself. Living by

        yourself is easy. It’s “WITH” that puts the mirror in our faces and shows us what there is or is NOT to see.

        I found your story about the athlete highly validating. Thanks for sharing it. At the end of my hour, I sit in my recliner, all wrapped and cozy, just letting thoughts roll by and loving the world! One little black cat often picks up the vibes and joins me for a quiet, peaceful and quality cuddle.

  10. …we’re all one … Friends are longer confined to the same street or town but are spread wide around the globe and every head that is bowed in prayer and quiet meditation is sent out to all.

    Thank you for my blanket i really need just now.

    • You are so welcome, Beverley. Since you need one now, a golden blanket is tucking its folds around you at this moment. Woven with Love and Blessings, these blankets wrap themselves around us no matter what we’re doing – a harried mother trying to do three things at once or a lonely person trying to walk off a broken heart. Be still, be with the Creator, and feel the comfort and healing.

  11. This speaks in part what seems to have become an ongoing discussion among the our bloggers on true intimacy vs. technology.

    As for the new times – they will come. Embrace! You are certainly handing appropriately.

    Your storytelling skills applied with stunning effect here, Amy. Bravo! So very well done. Enjoyed much.


    • Many thanks, Jamie. Technology is going to break some hearts before people learn to manage their use of it. If we push people aside to be with our computers or smart phones, we will deal with consequences. People first, folks! 😀

      Conversely, thank God for technology! There’s tons to appreciate about all it’s doing for us – worldwide and in all aspects of life.

      I’d be lost without my computer now. But I would be more lost without my loved ones.

  12. I too have people around me who are having a difficult time with their health. I am trying to help with extra loving thoughts and care. My personal roller-coaster is my emotions, which are being tested and stretched with a very tough situation within the family. I believe and have faith that this will be resolved in the best way for us and am ‘keeping on keeping on’, doing all I am able to assist that resolution to manifest.

    However, today was a great day! A warm, sunny, spring-filled day of bird song and blossom, laughter and heart-to-heart conversation. I had a thought which came to me that I knew I wanted to share, and believe now, after having read your post, that it was meant to be shared here:

    “When all hope is gone, look for love.
    In love you will find hope.”

    Love of course doesn’t have to mean love with or for another person, necessarily. It can be love of the sunshine streaming through your window. Love of the warm breeze or the smell of freshly baked bread. Love is appreciation and from appreciation, gratitude flows. Gratitude opens your heart and through that opening comes many things – peace, hope, strength to carry on, acceptance of the way things are. The willingness to listen and learn. The patience needed for the universe to provide. Often, especially when life on the outside feels difficult, unjust or difficult to face, the best thing to do is, as you say, nothing. Doing nothing allows other energies the opportunity to come into play. It allows the ‘Flow’ the space it needs in which to flow. And flow it will! It always does. It is the nature of things, of life! When a vacuum is created in nature, something else flows in to fill it. Sometimes the best thing to do is, as you and other have said, nothing.

    If, however, you are having trouble doing nothing, you could go one step further. When, like earlier this week, you feel as I did, all spent out with nothing to give, no answers and drained, as if you are running on empty, then that could be the time to give. Have a clear out and give to a charity shop. Bake a cake for a sick neighbour. Send a friend a surprise package. Spend the time writing a proper letter, telling someone you haven’t seen for a long time how much they still mean to you, how much you miss them. Make a birthday present. This action of putting out there, of giving, helps to open the heart (again!) It allows gratitude to flood in as you realise how fortunate you are that you have extra clothes/food in the cupboard/someone to care about. Life is about love, about loving, about giving love and receiving it. About feeling it and sharing it. About seeking it out and celebrating it. About planting it and giving it the space to grow. When we strip away the face of things, the name of things and their character and start seeing life as a collage of love energy, all flowing and mingling together to create this mysterioius, this extraordinary thing we call ‘life’, then, perhaps, we can find peace.

    So well done for so many things, including providing me the space to share my thoughts and thank you for those golden blankets! What a lovely idea. I’m wrapping one around me right now and it’s making me tingle all over!

    Love your work souldipper.
    Love You.

    • You know what this comment does, Jinkspots? It makes me fall in love with your beautiful soul. I have to “share you”. Because of our time difference, you may not see this response, but I want to feature you in the Occupy Blogosphere. I have to work on it now and if I don’t hear from you in the next few hours, I will publish it. If you want me to remove it, I will do so posthaste! I will watch for a response.

      Many blessings on you! I’m relieved that you are wrapped in a golden blanket. I’m relieved because it means you are wrapped in the biggest, most powerful prayer – Love from Universal Love. May you be validated, authenticated and comforted into serenity.

      • Good morning!

        Thank you so much for your kind comments! I’m extremely touched… and would be honoured if you want to use my comment in any way. I’ve been reading your Occupy Blogosphere posts and was planning to ask you what it was all about. It sounds interesting – and important too.

        I can feel something exciting and creative happening here – if I may so bold as to say. I read your post last night and felt my reply was inspired by what you had written. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, I’d had the seeds of what I wrote swilling around in my mind all day but didn’t know what to do with them. Your blog was the outlet they needed and I’m so grateful that a) I could contribute through the opportunity you are providing and b) you liked what I wrote. I feel deeply in tune with your site and what you are doing, and although Jinkspots is more of a plaything for me, an outlet for my creativity, somewhere for me to go and tinker and talk about all kinds of things, my spiritual beliefs come to the fore in full force when I read your posts. As they should of course, because that is the focus of Souldipper and your work as I understand it.

        So please, borrow away! It feels good to know we can share and work together. Please keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll do my best to follow along and if something comes out that you and your readers like then we all win.

        I firmly believe that if we ‘share what we have, we’ll both have twice as much’. Scarcity is an illusion of the fear-bound ego of humankind. Like you, I’m sure, I’ve had enough of it! Let’s smash it down and see what beauty, what abundance and what creative answers to our universal problems may arise.

        Viva l’amour!

    • Bumps & lumps, Granny…my sister who is just older than me is experiencing the same cysts in her breasts as me, but she’s a step ahead of me. We both have an appt on the 22nd – she’s having a biopsy and I’m at the ultrasound stage. We have no “C” word in our family. The women in our family have dealt with cysts before us and they were all benign.

      Wanna know what’s amazing about this? I had a laundry list of very weird symptoms. After my physical, my Doc looked at me and said, “Your body seems to be putting you through a hormonal conversion…like a teenager!” Yep…they are all symptoms of that hormonal upsurge in life! Ye Gads! Soon I’ll be screaming over Justin Bieber! 😀 Maybe I uncovered the fountain of youth. If so, will you be my business manager? 😀

  13. Hi Amy – beautiful crocuses .. pure white. Life knocks us especially as we get older – I realise so many have much worse situations that I have. How many of us realise that we will be who we are for the rest of the day .. not many.

    Excellent post – I am just sorry for your family news – so difficult and challenging .. we do no more than we can – and your friend probably just felt overwhelmed with life and also who knew and who didn’t …

    With many thoughts – we are lucky being bloggers and having others in our lives, who understand .. so many sometimes in the real world seem to be oblivious to what’s going on .. Hilary

    • The purple crocuses are right beside the white…in a ditch on my walk, beautifying the blase and reminding me of endless promises being fulfilled.

      One of the drawbacks to aging, Hilary, is that it’s not just our silly little health idiosyncrasies we face…it’s our loved ones’, too! 🙂

      We are fortunate to have a blogging family. Who knew we’d end up with so many caring people in our lives – at our fingertips. Love is love, whether it’s coming through paper, ink, electronics or touch. We may have our preferences, but all carry the ability to soothe and comfort!

  14. I have a meditation CD, Ocean Voyages, that transports me inward and upward . . . for 30 minutes or an hour . . . depending on how long a break I need.

    Aah . . . that’s better!

    • That’s the key, Nancy – we each find a technique that helps. Preferences change as we practice and that’s an interesting evolution in and of itself. I was at a little market on Saturday, looking for unprocessed Yerba Mate tea. I ended up chatting with a young man who wanted to know my meditation techniques. What year – which technique? I thought! 😀 He disclosed interesting little rituals – who knows how they evolved. I stick to the simple, silent and still. Besides my thoughts, my big challenge is Duc le Chat’s love of meditation. He wants be on my lap so he can stretch his paw out onto my arm, bunt me with his wet nose and snag a claw on whatever it can catch! 😀

  15. There is so much passion and caring and love in this post Amy, thank you for putting it out there. I will have you and all those you love in my morning and evening prayers, You all will receive what you need, the strength, the love, and you will be carried through by strong arms. I love jinkspots comments on love and sharing with each other. It is what we are to be about, this loving and caring for each other, decreed so many thousands of years ago. You are always in my thoughts, Love & Hugs Dee

  16. Amy – your messages are always so very timely in my life. I need to “meditate” … I know it is important for my health – emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually … it has been a very difficult couple of months — yet, I cannot seem to still my mind long enough to make it through a few minutes much less a hour … my stillness often results in falling asleep 😀 The same occurs if I do guided meditation — yet I always seem to know when to “wake up” at the end … there have been numerous times over the years, I wish I could participate in a program at a monastery … ahhh, more work to do — more practice to do it.

    Thank you for your style of writing and your gentle reminders applicable to so many of us!! Many blessings and a golden blanket for you as you go through these times. 😀

    • Ah, Becca, you gentle soul! I’ll tell you what my past spiritual teacher would say – she’d say to get really comfy (wrap yourself in a blanket and imagine it golden :)), close your eyes, say a prayer, then visualize sitting on a river bank. Sit for 10 minutes. Don’t push yourself to sit longer or judge yourself.

      When a thought comes, put it in the boat and let it float away. There’ll be lots of thoughts – keep putting them into the endless supply of boats. You may only have a few seconds of being thought-free. With time, you’ll find longer gaps between thoughts. Eventually, peace or joy or hope will bubble through you when you are done. When you finish, no matter how chaotic the time, sit quietly with eyes open for a minute. Feel how you feel!

      Maybe her teachings will encourage you. Oh, and you probably cannot meditate with animals around. They are attracted to the peace and won’t leave you alone!

  17. When you’re tuned into certain vibrations, you’ll receive certain messages. You are a healer; these are the messages that come to you and they must be overwhelming sometimes.

    A little self-care seems in order, whether that takes the form of an hour of meditation or some other gift of kindness to yourself that allows you to relax and care for your own needs. Just for a while. You know this. I don’t need to tell you.

    Sending you light and love…Namaste

  18. Amy, this comes with lots of prayers for you and your sisters…specially on the 22nd…the bond of love dipped in humor that you share with the other older one 🙂  must be a huge source of strength and comfort…may it always be so…may it also always be accompanied with ease in times of need and innner peace through it all…amen…

    Living” by”yourself is easy…It’s WITH that puts mirrors in our faces and shows us what is there or is NOT to see….that is so deep and true Amy…this is the mirror that helps us to evolve to be the best that we were meant to be…or not…looking into this mirror requires strength of faith…love…and hope…meditation in whatever form most suitable to one…be it in a formal kind, in prayer, in retrospection…helps on this path…The prayer is always for His grace…

    Thank you for sharing all of this…You are in my thoughts and prayers…God bless…..

    • Shama, your prayers are my golden blanket of healing light. I know I can speak for my sister – we both thank you so very much. I phoned this sister day before yesterday and, again, we nearly choked with laughter. She is a watercolour artist and was describing her painting of Nature pushing its way through snow – symbolising our advancing Spring. Since this sister feels she’s the “queen painter of snow”, we went into gales of gaiety over the memory of a determined instructor trying to teach my sister how to paint snow differently. I hope the poor teacher has recovered from that lesson all those years ago! 😀

      • What an incredibly apt and beautiful way to look at advancing age…:) I love it…

        Your sister sounds like a wonderful human being Amy…but then she is your sister… By the grace of God I share a similar relationship with my only other sister and not only understand and empathize…but am so very happy for both of you because I know this bond is such a comforting and enriching one…

        My love and prayers for both of you…God bless…

  19. I think it’s good to be mindful that even when one person is in the depths of grief, worry, pain, or other unpleasantness, there is some other person in the world who is happy beyond belief. Circles of joy and pain; our world continues to spin.

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