Frozen with Attraction

“Les?”  I could barely breathe as I put out my hand.  Who shakes hands with a Rugby player?

His head cocked to one side and with a grin that lit my heart, he accepted my hand.  Caught in the clutch of his denim-blue eyes, I could not pull away.  The plethora of party-goers did not exist during those seconds.  His tall rugged figure, tanned and primed for the season, held a presence that wrapped me in a cocoon of shocking pleasure.  This man was armed with charm.  I froze with agonizing attraction.

“Yeh”, he said.  His Australian accent was in full regalia.  It flew its flag of sensuality.  I stood immobilized through his short introduction.

Instant magnetism.  Love at first sight.  Ultimate connection.  I’d heard those phrases.  They weren’t for me.  I was a new wife, married one and one-half years.  Those effects may zap other people, but I was out of the game.  I savored this power in books or movies, but surely I was not the type to succumb.

I mumbled, “Nice to meet you,”  as I slipped my hand from his and bolted in search of my husband.

The second time we encountered each other, at a Rugby game, I watched only him.  Even though Rugby is a more casual sport, I was amazed when he walked up to me on the sidelines at half time.  I could hardly put together a sentence.  I heard myself sounding like a bad connection on a fading radio station.

After these encounters, I needed to talk to my wise and well-seasoned mother about this uncomfortable situation.  Not only was the memory of this man unnerving, I was feeling guilty.  I needed direction.

“Mom, what’s wrong with me?”

Wisdom and Intelligence Combined

“Nothing, darling.  It’s called ‘chemistry’.”

“It’s insanity.  My gawd…has this ever happened to you?”

“It certainly has and it’s wonderful.  Enjoy it.  In fact, I’m delighted that you are experiencing this.”

“This has happened to you…?”  I was embarrassed for her.  With trepidation, I asked, “What did you do about it?”

“Nothing of course.”  Her weird expression suggested she was sitting in a moment of pleasure.

“Nothing?  You just ignored it?”

“Oh, you can’t ignore it.  But… there is a very good reason for not acting on it.

“Yah, like fidelity.  Right?”

“No, there’s another reason as well.  Why spoil it?  Why spoil the memory of these great moments?”

“Moments?  You’ve had this more than once?”  I was shocked.

“Several times.  As, I’m sure, will you.  With men and women.”

“Mooooom!”  I cajoled.  “With women?  But that is lesbianism.”

“No, darling.  It’s chemistry.”

“You leave me speechless, Mother.”

“The world is creating more and more lonely people.  People crave intimacy.  They will look for intimacy in sex and with the most convenient source – male or female. ”

“But this is the ’60s.  We already have sexual freedom.”

“It has a way to go if you are the example, my dear.”

(The Guide’s response tomorrow.)

37 thoughts on “Frozen with Attraction

  1. This is one wise mother, and free, I might add – love her response. It happens, the chemistry – we are first of all physical beings (well, second of all, but it’s the physical that reacts – and attracts – in this physical world). We think there’s something wrong with us for feeling attracted to someone other than the one we’ve committed to; while the only ‘wrong’ thing (‘misguided’ or ‘unhealthy’ come closer to the word I was looking for) is our denying what’s true for us. Is there anything that pits us more against our authentic selves than denying our realities?

    • Yes, my mother was full of wisdom and ahead of her time in many ways. She must have felt like an island when we lived in two-horse towns in the prairies as she determinedly made certain all children had a teacher. Most mothers would greet kids with, “How are you?” My mom would say, “I would love to know what is making you really happy right now.” I laugh now, but I used to groan and moan in a few one-room schoolhouses. I absolutely adore the richness of that fodder. And I can see it in you, gospelwriter. Thanks for your wonderful comment.

  2. Nice writing, Holy One!
    Sucked me right in!
    But who isn’t a sucker for a sloppy slice of Romance?!

    Being freshly single, I have been mulling over the topics of intimacy and sex… Missing that warm, sexy body so often near mine… Wondering how to get my intimate needs met~ physically, emotionally, etc. And what “needs” are actually just habits in disguise, ready to be shed like old, scaly skin…

    I await the revelatory illumination of your invisible posse!


    • Did you say “Holey”? Totally apropos. I remember in Conversations with God, when Walsch said he was losing his mind, God said something like, it’s about time. I hope he meant it. I thought my washer was broken until I finally put the lid down! 🙂

      The posse of skinless saints has brought this message in on a 747. MY NUMBERS. I’m loving your posts about your adjustment to living in a shack in Kauai. Yeah. Some shack, my God chasing friend. There is one reason why I am happy to live up here where I need fires blazing to keep toasty warm: SHARKS.

      BTW, here’s a neat recipe from Cin’s blog that you may want to lay on your friends who are roughing it in paradise:

      Great to hear from you. As you see, when you are single, your legs don’t even fall off. Love you to bits, Athena Grace.

    • I love being able to share her – she was an excellent writer and just couldn’t believe herself capable of pulling off a manuscript. So, we’ll get her in print one way or another. Boy, I’m going to have to make sure these Guides of mine don’t have an ego-problem.

    • Yeah, Kadian. I’d be in big trouble if you two had ever managed some time together. Well, quite frankly I’d probably lose the company of both of you! I’m waiting for your eldest to set up a blog and write about her wise mom. There I just planted the seed!

  3. *laughing* G-d bless the mom’s of the world! She was just tellin’ it like it was for her. It doesn’t get any better than hearing experience speak. (can’t argue someone’s experience….unless they turn it into an opinion, that is)

    I’ll await ‘the rest of the story’.
    Chemistry isn’t a bad thing, methinks.
    We’ll always get a choice to make in what we DO, it seems.
    Free will, I think someone called it. 😉

    • Right on, Mel. Glad my mom has been able to give some giggles to folks today and have a bit of a spotlight herself. I don’t think she ever gave herself enough credit for being a great human being.

  4. This attraction must surely stop as one gets older.

    Doesn’t it?

    Should it?

    Lord, just let me feel it again and again a thousand times more before I die or succumb to acting on it more than such a pleasure should permit.

    And if I sin, let discretion be the better part of valor to carry inside the rest of my Life.

    michael j
    who never experienced this (at least, not this early in the the day)

  5. Amy, I love it… your mom’s response sounds so much like what your guides would say. This was the 60’s … I couldn’t come out of the closet until the year 2000… life is so much easier when we don’t complicate it. Your mom was way before her time… xo Karen

    • Yes, Karen, and you did it legitimately – not because you were so desperately lonely that you grasped for any available love. You, my friend, did it with dignity, grace and love. Look at the wonderful relationship you still have with you ex-husband.

    • I have to smile, Alannah – would we want them often? By the way, I admire you for your apparent calm over bats. Yike! Good luck with your magazine articles and may my fellow Canadians serve you well.

      • No, I don’t think I’d want those moments often, they’re just too powerful and intense and gut-wrenching. I love bats me 🙂
        I am dying to go to Canada one day, have heard such wonderful things about it!

        • When I headed over to Europe the first time as a very young woman, I was coming from Western Canada. I was shocked to realize I was halfway to Europe and was only in Montreal. I’d been on the train for days! I am very blessed, I’ve been able to see a great deal of my country, largely due to my business career.

  6. Oh wow, Amy, I love this..and would for sure have loved your Mom!!

    I’m also enjoying this separation of posts…leaping straight to your guides reponse now, though. Lucky me not having to wait since I’m slow on the uptake today!

    • I know my Mom would have loved getting to know you, Naomi. The world you would have brought to her would have fed her soul for years. I’m not sure how you would have had time to answer all the questions she would have asked. She read voraciously, but every person was a gold mine to her.

      Separating the posts will make it easier on my time. Thank you for your feedback.

  7. Every once in a while you read upon wisdom in the form of great insight. this was a wonderfully fresh and wise conversation… unconventional… and simple… finding a truth to the most minute truth.

    thank you for sharing wisdom

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