A more evolved person would say: “What’s the big deal? It’s only a load of lumber. He’ll probably bring it tomorrow.”
Except, it feels like a big deal.
I put my life on hold to accommodate his schedule. “Thursday morning before 11:00”, he confirmed on the phone two days ago. It is now after 6:30 p.m. and the appointed length of lumber has not been delivered as promised.
The spot for storage is cleared. The prepared dumping site is barren.
Tomorrow is no good. I have appointments and he has other commitments. That’s why we agreed that he’d come today.
Good grief, here’s a mature man who is a member of a stalwart island family and he has not kept his word. He is supposedly trustworthy.
Come to think of it, I have noticed subtle gestures from his wife when I saw them together. She usually leaves a group setting when he joins the conversation. He sort of takes over the conversation.
Once she said it was their anniversary. “Congratulations. How long have you two been married?” I asked.
“Oh, I’ve only been married to him for 15 years”, she said. “I was married before. My first husband died. The children are from my first marriage.”
The absence of enthusiasm was as good as a confessional.
She continued, “He’s a good man, though. Been a good father to my children. But, you know…at times, I find myself wishing he’d talk about something other than his antique cars and farm machinery. He’s always looking for more information or parts. I know he wishes the kids would show a little more interest…”
Yes, I’ve noticed that little ‘something’ whenever we’ve talked.
Let’s face it. He’s a great hulk of a man who talks too much. He is not a man of his word. He bores his wife to death and most people just want to avoid him. He’s like all the rest of the people who never do what they say. If anyone asks me about his service, I’m going to be honest. People like him should not get away with this kind of nonsense. Look at this! It’s 7:30 p.m. No truck, no phone call and no lumber. And even worse, I did no writing today until now. I couldn’t concentrate with one ear at the door. He’s really screwed up my day.
The phone rings. 7:47 p.m. Why does that time appear on clocks so frequently in my life? What does it mean?
“Hi, I’ll swing by now and bring your lumber. I promised I’d call first.”
“Thanks. See you in a few minutes.”
The poor man. He’s still working! It’s going to be dark before he finishes unloading the lumber. He’s had a hip replacement in his retirement and he’s still working so hard. He must be starving. I’ll offer him something to munch on. I should have told him to not bother tonight.
Suddenly his white truck backs into my driveway. He parks perfectly by the prepared spot. He jumps out of the truck and cheerfully sets up the rigging for unloading the lumber all by himself.
“You’re working awfully late, aren’t you?”
“Well, I was doing a little fix-it job for the local Kids Klub and it took a little longer ’cause when I gave one of the young fellas a ride home, turned out his mother needed her washer fixed. Then, when I got to the lumber yard, some guy had jimmied his loader so I gave him a hand, you know, just so he could get out of my way. Then Old Rex Thornton drove in and wanted to know what he could do with his old ’49 Chevy. He figures he’s ripe for the old folk’s home. So after we had a little chat about it, I suggested we go and have a look at it. It’s in great shape. By gar, I think I’ll buy it. Then he got to showin’ me some of the other stuff that he wants to get rid of. I know lots of people who will be interested. Turns out his wife was having trouble with an old clothes line that she still wants to use – you know how women like the bedding to smell fresh…”
Hello my beloveds. I’m in big trouble, aren’t I?
The observer in you is fully functional when you ask such a question.
Throughout my life, whenever I do a character assassination, I pay. I usually have egg all over my soul.
This story is an opportunity to see what caused you to become negative. It is about gossip and the damage it does to souls. Plus, there is more.
Okay, I will gird myself.
First, remember we bring the All Loving Source with us in each of these exchanges. The only girding that is required is the kind that will keep the bond and bridge to our welcome relationship with you and all others who are with us. Rejoice in the richness of this experience. The purpose of your writing is to tell stories that give us voice. Thank you for writing about this situation. You caught yourself in an act that does not give you peace. What causes the discomfort?
I bad-mouthed a person for not doing what he said he would do. I even dragged his wife into it – I needed an accomplice. So how do I deal with this? Sure, he was doing all these random acts of kindness, but he was still 8 or 9 hours late. Am I supposed to be okay with that? He didn’t even apologize. Sure, I get mad when people don’t do what they promise. It happens a lot and it’s getting worse.
Are you ready to hear that this situation is not about him? Can you see who this is really about?
Oh boy. I forgot.
We are pleased that you remember. It shows that you do have the knowledge. Feeling let down by others has been a challenge many times for you in this lifetime. Because of this, you expect it. Therefore you manifest it. Please describe what you were thinking this morning when you first awakened.
You’ve caught me red-handed. I was thinking he was just one of these island guys who would show up whenever he wanted. I had decided that I was at his mercy. I held off starting anything today. Mentally and emotionally, I was standing on one foot. Wow, did I ever manifest exactly what I thought.
You gave that man exactly the freedom you resented him having. Not only did that bother you, you added to your negativity by dissecting his character. As you said, this was not food for your soul.
It makes me feel soul sick, actually. I am going to send tons of loving energy to his wife and him. I am going to purge myself of the debris I gathered in my negativity. I’ll do a chakra cleansing and balancing. I will remember to expect, and watch for, situations where I see people “do what they say and say what they do.”
You are seeing the extent of the effects of the thought that is wrapped around a situation or other living organism. It affects all involved.
It is so easy for me to forget all this. Thank you for bringing me back so gently. Ironically, when I began writing this story, deep down I was thinking how I would connect with you and you would make a case for people keeping their word. I forgot that I was responsible for the day. You know, we are so powerful and we don’t even realize it.
We are pleased with this discussion. Did you have more questions?
Thank you so much for your simple and gentle wisdom. This situation, as simple as it is, brings me to a profound understanding of how we are creating our lives continuously and are so unconscious of that most of the time.
Unless you aren’t.
Unless we aren’t. Many thanks.