180 Degree View On Giving

Caller ID on the ringing phone read “Out of Area”.  9:48 a.m. Saturday morning.

For three weeks, the promise of a lull in bed with a good book remained a promise.  Finally, today, I did not have to feed anyone, go anywhere or do anything; my promise was being fulfilled.  John Irving’s book, The Fourth Hand, propped comfortably on pillow number five, would hopefully reveal how a professional puts together a story around a hand transplant.

For some reason I chose to answer the phone, “Hello.”  I could not recognize the voice, but it wasn’t a marketing caller.

“Hello, Amy?”  It was my friend R., but with an unnaturally high pitch in his voice.  He was working too hard at sounding okay.

“How are you doing?” I asked him.

“Great!  I actually have a whole weekend off.  I’m not on call, I am completely free.  So I thought I’d drive up from Arkansas and visit my folks in Minnesota,” he said.

“Is your daughter with you?”  As a single, childless professional, R. had taken on a very heavy responsibility a year ago.  He had opened his home and life to a teen-aged step-daughter who would not live with her mother.  Her mother is R.’s ex-wife.

“No, she’s not.  She’s in Arkansas with her grandmother.”  The pitch was still pronounced, but more lilting.  “In fact, she moved out and is with her grandmother.  Full time.”

“When did that happen?” I asked.

“About six wee…no, two months ago.”  I sensed the agonizing pull that accompanied the calculation.

Love First, Then Time

Thank goodness I answered the phone, I thought.

“Ah, R., I’m so sorry.  What caused her to make that decision?”

R. described a reaction that was typical of a teenager who received a “no” that was cemented in safety.  His step-fatherly concern meant the decision was not open for discussion.  The teenager rebelled with a caustic sting that wounded his heart.  She moved out.   The joyful tone that typically identified this man on the phone was gone.

Our conversation continued as we visited various topics.  R. is not a stranger to looking deeply into his bag of character defects.  He checks that bag often because he knows about denial.  He realizes he only wants to see good when he looks inside.  He wants only the just and the sensible parts to be at work.

Surely, I thought, there are times when it really isn’t our bag that needs searching.  Surely, I prayed, my friend can find an outlet for his love without such heartache.

So my patient and loving Guides.  It will be great to hear from you about this subject.

Thank you for inviting our participation.  We appreciate the caption you placed under your photograph of the clock.  You have not always lived that concept.

No…especially when I was so intent upon my career that I put people in the back seat.  I had been trained that feelings were an obstacle to success.  When anyone asked me how I felt about something, I would say what I thought was the appropriate feeling.  Whether it was my feeling or not was anyone’s guess.

Many fall prey to that belief system.  They cannot see the actual interplay between the Divine Source and all that happens in life.  Many do not realize there are illusions that enslave them.  It is difficult to bring their attention to the authentic priorities of living.

Like your Spiritual teacher, Cynthia Bourgeault, discussed with you, people take offense over the idea of God.  God cannot be proven to exist, they claim.   However, time does not actually exist.  Physical beings created time.  People deny God, yet wear wristwatches and continuously worship time.  Time is an illusion; it is one of the biggest dictates on the earthly plane.  Time is used to brush aside the hearts and souls of countless numbers.

Answering your telephone and being with your friend was the only matter of import in that state you called ‘the now’.

So often I ignore calls with weird IDs.  I suspected my Guides were nudging me.  Thankfully, I paid attention.  On a Webinar today, I heard a Light Worker, Doreen Virtue, speak on the various ways we can become aware of the presence of our spiritual guides, angel and archangels.  She’s written numerous books about this subject.  I experience your influences in many ways, big and small.

Doreen also said when she goes to conferences with other Light Workers, she rarely sees anyone wearing a watch.   I realize that people use cellphones to check the time, but I don’t have a cell phone and I haven’t worn a watch for years.  I seldom worry about the time…the last occasion was because it would take months to re-book a medical appointment if I missed it.

Regarding your prayer for R., he received the Divine Light you requested.  As with Sam and her family.  And Jamie.    We acknowledge your inclusion of R.’s step-daughter and her grandmother.  Your concern released Light for each one.

Understanding the need behind generosity can open hearts and present a deeper understanding for both givers and receivers. When a human is suffering, it is guaranteed there is suffering on both sides of the relationship.  The suffering may be for different reasons and it may be denied, but suffering exists for both sides nonetheless.

Generosity can arise out of suffering.  It can also be a form of condescension when it contains a “fix-it” focus.  Giving abundantly can be an attempt to gain control or restore balance.  The energy from over-giving sends a signal the receiver: “Be on alert”.  The receiver may not understand what causes the un-ease and may chose the take the gift without looking at the teaching.

When a gift seems unappreciated, the giver is confused and may even feel victimized.  In your world, generosity often has an agenda attached.  It can be feeding an unhealthy need that the giver continuously avoids seeing.

You are really socking this to us.  I certainly know we are given countless opportunities to finally see our agendas. It’s hard to face, but worth the view.  It leads to freedom.  This subject stirs my suspicion that few humans can actually give unconditionally.

Yes, there is a great deal of spiritual maturation required to attain such a position.

I think about the monks who beg on the streets.  I used to believe that was only to teach humility.  However, I recently had the tables turned.  Apparently their gesture gives me an opportunity to give.

The monk is giving you a chance to look at how you give.  The gesture is not about what you give, it’s about what is going on when you give.  Could you give to the Monk and be sincerely thankful for the opportunity?

Wow, that’s really getting to the nub, isn’t it?

Any opportunity to give Love is an opportunity to give thanks to All There Is.    If any human can give with thanks, they are illuminated from the inside out.  They could not give away all that they receive.

We see this repeatedly in Hospice.

We Are The Whole

All of you have that potential for illumination.  All of you are capable of giving with thanks.  Abundance is immeasurable.  Humans are slow to realize it is theirs for the asking, theirs for the taking and theirs for the giving.  It is infinity.  Think of the symbol and there is the answer.

Next time you give to a street person, thank them.  Let them see you.  It matters not what they are going to do with the gift.  Let them see the Love that is in it.  Let them sense the unconditional nature of your gift.  Pass them the seed that can only flourish.  It will fan the ember of their spirituality.  There is no need to judge or be a jury.  Give through an open window that shows the Love in your soul.

I think I just caught on:  We are all ‘haves’.  And we can all use time as a gift to give.  In so doing, we can give whatever we have whenever we are being blessed with the opportunity to give.

For example, I was there to give whatever R. received.  What he saw in my gift is none of my business.  But I didn’t thank him.  Oh, I thanked him for calling, but that was because he has the long distance plan and I don’t.  Wow, that’s revealing!

I now thank him appropriately:  “Thanks, Randy, for giving me the opportunity to be a friend.  It made me feel whole.”

Peace and blessings on you.  We are so grateful to serve with you.

Many, many thanks, my Beloveds.

26 thoughts on “180 Degree View On Giving

  1. How true it is about time and how we become prisoners of it and how easy it is to get caught up in things that do not really matter. Glad you were able to help your friend in his time of need as well.

    • Ah, there you are, my friend. Thanks for reading the post…was your soul ringing? Hope your trip was fulfilling – with family and good food. Talk to you soon. Big hug to you.

    • Nothing like receiving confirmation that you and the girls received the Light that I asked for! I’m so relieved that both of them are on the mend and that you are doing okay. Just how much does one mom have to go through? Thanks for your call this afternoon.

  2. This was music to my ears, I so identify and believe everything you said Amy…it took my a long time to realize about Spirit Guides and trusting my intuition. Thank you from the heart. Much love and blessings x

    • Thank you so much Amanda. It’s been quite a step to ‘come out of the spiritual closet’, but the more I run into people like you, the more gratitude and courage I grow. Thanks for your comment. It means a great deal. It means I may just keep going and let it take me where its meant to go. 🙂 No wonder you are such a loving person…

  3. I’m sending love and light to Randy.

    As for The Fourth Hand, it contains one of my best ever lines from a book; when he loses the hand, Irving writes ‘a woman was shrieking like an unattended tea kettle’. I just love that line 🙂

    • Oh, thank you, Cindy. I certainly know he will be appreciative. And how did I miss that line? Bet it was in reference to the Dr’s housekeeper cum wife. Wasn’t that a cast of characters? (If I send this twice, please forgive the duplication. Lost the first one…I think.)

  4. It does indeed take courage to come out of the “spiritual closet” … and you have done it with grace. A beautiful post filled with light and wisdom.

    Have worked with Doreen as well. She’s quite a lady …

    • Jamie, I do try to not put so much delight into receiving your comments, but I can’t help it. Hope it is not a weighty responsibility – I am sure many of the other bloggers know exactly what I mean.

      • You know, I have to tell you that since reading this post, I have not been able to put on my watch … I’m suddently free … Thank you! So wonderful… Love first … i.e. compassion first … and therein lies happiness. No?

        Not a responsibility, a delight … though I’m not sure I have anything profound to provide … I just appreciate that folks share their feelings, wisdom, and art … Going out into the blogospher is like picking wild flowers, a bouquet for my heart. A very selfish indugence really. And I do learn so much … We all do.

        • I agree Jamie. The internet is such a gift. It brings the world to me in the quantity and quality that I am able to accept and appreciate. This is the reason I love seeing seniors (I’m talking black-belt elderly, Jamie, not wanna-be-s like you and me) show an interest in computers. Given an outlet to give means living a sense of purpose. I believe purpose feeds ‘being’ which carries the greatest gift of all – Love. Congrats on letting it be – sans watch.

  5. Worthy of more than just one read–which is why I’ve read and pondered multiple times.

    I send warm, healing thoughts to R.–not an easy thing to have to do, this I know.

    Your entry gave me pause to consider the motives in some of my givings. I dare say, some motives aren’t ‘pure’ and there’s a bit of ‘self’ in there–how horribly human of me, eh?
    More practice required!

    Enjoy a blessed Tuesday.

    • Big smile to you, Mel, you wonderfully fallible, two-legged, skin & bone-bearing marvel. I certainly know that I’m going to screw up again and again and… At the risk of receiving more input from the Skinless Squad (thank God for their sense of humour!), I figure the best I can do is simply catch myself a little sooner each time.

  6. Beautiful post, thank you, Amy & guides! Absolutely love the line: ‘Give through an open window that shows the Love in your soul.’ Will keep that one close 🙂 Bless you all, including Randy, x

  7. Amy, this is an amazing post. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    When he was 14 years old, my oldest son S. moved out, and in with his father, my ex. I was heart-broken. His “father” may have been the world’s worst at the job and I was pretty sure he had lured S. there with visions of an easy life. But I knew S. couldn’t hear that. So despite my pain, I held my tongue, and determined to just be “there” for him. It was one of the hardest periods in my life. After two years, S. came home, tired of being the “dog’s body” (to borrow a term from our Brit friends) for his father and his new wife.

    We all learned some valuable life lessons from those two years. Sadly, for my ex, they didn’t take.

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