Loving; NOT Wounding

(My Guides offer the unexpected.  They know that I love the spice and ‘feist’ they give to messages.  When they suggest that I relate an incident from my life, I feel like the monitors are rollin’!

Today I am to give a reminder:  When you are practicing your meditation, ask for guidance and protection from the guides who are acting in your highest interest.   And there was something else for us.)

Morning Guides, I missed you yesterday.

Yes we missed you as well.

Does it disrupt anything if I don’t meditate every day with you?

It is less beneficial to you from a peaceful point of view.  You do operate more lovingly when you meditate daily.  We are aware that you are connecting regularly.  It is important that you also connect as a receiver.

(My understanding of “connecting regularly” is in reference to my prayers.  Or, when I quieten myself by concentrating on my breathing.

This morning’s message also included information about substance abuse that I have not published.  Here is the recap:  It’s sad to encounter people who were in recovery, but who have chosen to renew their relationship with a substance.  A ruddy complexion, the puffy face and the ‘look away’ attitude tells me when the substance has won.  The sense of the sincere, healthy and loving intimacy is gone.  It can return, but the timing will be according to the person’s will – usually after a lot of pain.  Unfortunately the pain (wounding) extends to others.  I have been reminded that even the Creator has to wait!)

And what is the topic today?

Loving others instead of wounding them.  How often do human beings stop themselves from doing or saying the very thing that another person would love to receive or hear?

Like an act of kindness or helpfulness?

Souls are encouraged to observe themselves.  Stop negative thinking and negative actions.   Change them to positive thoughts and actions.  Become aware of the tiny, inner messages that are too often ignored.

For example?

When you hear of someone’s ‘good fortune’, what do you think?  Are you rejoicing about the good news?  Do you say thanks that someone has experienced goodness?  Or do you feel deprived because it was not you?  When someone really needs some help, what is your first response?  Is it no?  Or is it a question like, “How can I rearrange things so I can help this person?”

BUT what about getting into the co-dependent stuff?  Remember your message about how we think we are helping when, in fact, we can be interfering?

If you are not asked for help, yet you are seeing someone struggling, it is compassionate to ask if you can help in some way.  Often they will say “no”.   They don’t want to be a bother.  However, if you approach them with a suggestion as to HOW you can help, the person will likely be receptive.

Please give an example.

Instead of saying, “May I help you?”, approach them with a suggestion like, “I would love to help by carrying that bag of cat food for you.”

That is a shift from the person to the object.

That’s right. If you offer to carry the bag of cat food, the person knows what you have in mind.  They can see that you are an able bodied person who has a good heart.  So they are less likely to feel they are being a bother.

Unless we live in a location where they would think I was trying to steal cat food.

Is there an underground market for that? (Guide humour!) Make sure the SUGGESTION reduces their need to make a decision.  Start with a STATEMENT, not a question.  You helped an elderly lady a while ago – tell that story.  It is a good example.

Around dinnertime, downtown, I was approached by an elderly woman struggling with a very heavy grocery bag.  She asked how one could get into a seemingly abandoned, gated and locked building.  She told me her friend was living in the building.  The woman’s husband had just died that afternoon, her dog was very hungry and she was out of dog food.

I said, “Let me carry those groceries while we walk around to the front of the building. Without fuss, she let me take the bag of groceries.

I investigated the chained and padlocked gate.  Entry was impossible.  No one could possibly be inside.  My little lady said, “I know she’s in there.  We just spoke on the phone about an hour ago.  She is home.  She is distraught and would not even leave home to get her little dog some food.  That’s why I told her I would bring it.”

I pushed an intercom button.  As expected, nothing.

A restaurant next door was open.  “Let’s go and ask Jeremy if we can use his phone and we’ll call your friend.”

She said, “Oh I’m putting you to so much trouble.  And that bag is so heavy.  Here, let me carry it.  It’s too heavy.”

“Truly, this is not too heavy for me.  I have done weight training for years.  Let’s make sure we find your friend.”  We went to the restaurant, found Jeremy and he dialed the woman’s phone number.

While my little friend was on the phone, Jeremy said, “That couple moved months ago.  They sold their business and moved to Brinkworthy.”

“Oh my God, Jeremy,” I said.  “Apparently the husband just died at 2:00 pm today!  This lady must not have known that they had moved.”

When my little friend got off the phone, she looked full of shame.  “I forgot they moved to Brinkworthy.  I’ve very stupidly come to their old home.  My memory is so terrible.  I’m so sorry for bothering everyone.”

“Well, I’d like to have a friend like you!” I said.  “Here you are, out in the evening, picking up food for a beloved pet at such a significant time.”

She stood shaking her head.  “Never mind,” I said. “Let’s get this bag to your car.”

Suddenly a look of terror crossed her face.  “I can’t remember where I parked my car!  I’ve been walking around this area so much that I have forgotten where I left it!”

Seniors can demonstrate such shame over their failing memories.  It was important to introduce a positive focus.  I assured her that the car was not lost; we simply had to find it.   I asked about the make and the colour.  She had that information at her fingertips, “It’s a 1996, white, Toyota – four door.”

As we scanned the street, I suspected she would have chosen an easy place to park.  There was a church lot close by so I suggested we look there.

“Oh, I know now.  I parked by the church…yes, this one just around the corner.”

Within a couple hundred feet, she spotted her car and suddenly insisted that I give her the bag of groceries.  “You must give me that heavy bag now.  I’ve bothered you long enough and have probably taken you away from dinner!  You have been such a help and I don’t know how to thank you.”

I knew my work was done.  She needed to walk the final stretch alone to recover her dignity.  She needed to take back her independence and reaffirm her self-reliance.

I handed the bag to her and said, “Oh, and I forget.  Where is your friend?  Where are you taking this?”

“Brinkworthy!” she said.  “And I’m late!”


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2 thoughts on “Loving; NOT Wounding

  1. To know when it is time to cease helping another and to recognize when it is best to leave that person with their pride intact – takes such awareness.

    How many times have I gone beyond that place?

    Thank you for this insight…

    Joan

    • Me, too, Joan. Sometimes it is too painful to look back into those times when this sort of awareness simply was not in my repertoire. See you for tea real soon! – Amy

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