I am an orphan. Today I am a stressed orphan.
Stressful times are soul-wrenchingly lonely. A huge task looms in front of me that my management position demands I handle with perfection. Whatever that is. The fallout is unpredictable and frightening.
If my parents were still alive, I would be talking to my mom about it. While I can imagine the love and encouragement that Mom would give, those predictable words have been falling with a dull thud today.
A friend who follows a slightly different spiritual path from mine sent an email. She said, “Why not ask your guides to help you with the task that is weighing you down? You do have to ask them before they can help. Then you won’t be alone when you do it. AND you can be certain that it will be done for the highest good of all concerned.”
Indeed! Why not? So that’s what I did this morning.
After praying my request for the help of God and all spiritual beings acting in my highest interest, I began the quelling process. Thoughts scurried everywhere. I distressed over which spot would be the one to visit. I stood at the opening of my wooded path – the one that takes me to the angels who deliver virtues – unsure and indecisive. On one hand I wanted to be with Jesus who is usually with me in the other location. Yet, I wanted to be obedient.
Suddenly, Jesus was standing beside me. “Let’s go to this spot together. Come on, I’ll come with you.”
“I’m a mess today.” As if Jesus wouldn’t know that.
” There’s nothing to fear.” I took Jesus’ arm and we walked to my lagoon.
“Are you going to swim across with me?” I asked as I waded into the water.
“I’ll meet you on the other side”, he said.
The second I was in the water, the swans and the dolphin bumped against me. They undertook their antics of joyful welcome and play. When I got to the other side, Jesus said to me, “You sit here and wait. Prepare yourself . I’m going to be right over there.” He pointed to a place a fair distance away.
I waited quietly, closed my eyes and asked for healing light to pour through me. The cap of stress that has been hugging my mind like a vice was slowly diminishing. My taut body welcomed the release.
Then, I sensed another presence. I opened my ‘inner eyes’. A woman stood before me who was not like any of the angels I had encountered before. She glowed with a sparkling aura. She wore a fully hooded and flowing gown that swayed in the breeze as she approached me. Her beauty was so powerful that I felt radiant . She handed me a gown of the same material as hers. I put it on my naked body and reveled in its rich softness.
I looked for the virtue that she brought. “Do you have a virtue for me?” I asked.
“I’m bringing you many virtues, Child. There is no single one that would fit our mission today.”
Suddenly a flash of insight! Suddenly I knew! This was Kim, my Spiritual Mother who I had been told about. A psychic had recently told me of her existence and her role in my life. She has been with me through the ages and has loved me through many situations that would otherwise have debilitated my well-being and spiritual growth.
“Are you Kim?!” I was laughing, my precursor to hesitant hope and joy.
“Yes, I am Kim.” She held out her arms. I fell into them, melting into her, weeping with amazement, thankfulness and joy.
I abandoned myself to her. I drank her love. I inhaled her tenderness. I wept like a child whose ache for this moment has been eternal. My ‘aloneness’ was finally assuaged . I was home.
My tears were real – grief rose from the depth of my soul as I reached for numerous tissues.
“Jesus and I wanted to be with you today. First, we thank you for writing your experiences with us. Keep it up and keep telling people your truth through these meditations. And any other way that the messages arrive.”
I pulled away to see if Jesus would join us. Kim said, “Don’t worry about including Jesus. He and I are completely connected. What you are hearing from me, you could also hear from him. Wanting to be inclusive is typical of you and your capacity for love. You have not received the love that you needed from the usual sources in your life; yet you love so deeply and are so inclusive of others. Because of this, I have been protecting and helping you realign disappointments throughout your life. That has been my agreement with you.”
“You are well protected, as many of us have told you; including Jesus. Also, you will find you have many friends by your side throughout this ordeal.” Her words calmed my jangled spirit.
“Can I just stay here with you?” She just smiled and shook her head.
When I finished crying, I asked, “Do you have a specific message for me today?”
“Yes. You already touched on it last night when you spoke with Sefo. Remember when he asked you if you ever heard the South African anthem sung by Africans?” I nodded.
Last night, Sefo had told me that the voices singing the anthem sounded so incredibly beautiful. Coming from a South Sea Islander, that was a compliment indeed. I asked him, “In what way are they so beautiful?”
“Well, you know…they sound so good together.”
“Like your people in Rotuma? And other South Sea Islands?”
“Yeah, like that”, he said.
“Well’, I told him excitedly, “the world needs to become like that – like you Africans and Islanders!”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Remember I asked you how your people learned to sing so well? Whether or not you had to go to lots of singing practices?”
Sefo said, “Yeah and I told you that we do not have to do that.”
“Exactly! You told me that you just stand and listen to the person beside you and make your voice work with his or hers. Right? And you said that you may sing the same way or in another way, but it would always compliment their voice, offset their key…or whatever the musical language is. You said the idea is to sing with the voice beside you so that the sound is harmonious and blended… and you BOTH sound beautiful.”
“Well think of it, Sefo! Imagine if we lived like that! Imagine if all the people of the world would stand beside each other and listen long enough to hear the right key to jump in and blend and harmonize with one another. And all with the goal to sound beautiful. What a concept!”
“I never thought about it in that way,” he said.
Here I was hearing the same message from my Spiritual Mother in this morning’s meditation. She was feeding this same message back to me. “Stand beside your neighbour long enough to hear the note that lets you join in with blended love and guaranteed unity. Like the South African Anthem, sung not only in glorious harmony, but also in 5 different languages, let your words speak unity while your blended voices beautify the world.”
No matter your race, religion, creed, or sex, stand beside me, please, and help me sound beautiful.
This is very beautiful post Amy and I’m so glad you are writing this blog. The flow of it feels luminous and illuminating, Thankyou.
Many, many thanks for your comments. It does seem to keep coming. It’s a mystery how life could be boring. And imagine what it would be like without people like you to share it with!! XO Amy
Amy, my dear, this post is exqusite. You have a beautiful way of speaking to the heart. thank you so much for these posts. Keep up the great work.
As I wrote this, I remembered hearing about women’s workshops where the central item is a big comfortable rocking chair. Whoever sits in it is saying that she is willing to just hold another woman on her lap, rock her, and give her unconditional mothering love. Imagine the feeling, Susan! THAT reminds me of Ainslie’s first session: “Love is maternal. What does that tell you about spiritual acts?” Hmmmmm. Hope you puppied with love! Amy
Thank you for sharing this enchanting insight, Amy, as well as the clip of our special anthem 🙂
I’ve never thought of singers simply harmonizing their voices with their neighbours’. How perfect, and apt for life. Hopefully it isn’t too terrible a set-back being tone-deaf!
Oddly enough, we learnt the Xhosa version of our anthem first (at about 10 years old), followed by the Afrikaans one and last of all the English (thanks to an innovative Xhosa teacher and her guitar).
It’s wonderful to witness you following your bliss 🙂
Lots of love from SA,
Naomi, you have such a marvelous way of building and beautifying. You are so easy to respect and admire. As you have said in previous messages, wouldn’t it be grand to be close enough for tea and tons of talk. Never mind, we’ll just continue to make use of our tekkie talents! And lots of love from Canada, Amy